I have been going back and forth for a long time…trying to decide if I should share the meaning behind our business name. It hasn’t been an easy decision for me. You see, in order to tell the whole story I have to revisit something painful. At last, I have finally decided to share the story and if it helps just one person find motivation, or inspiration I will be happy.

My business name isn’t what you might think at first glance. I have had several people ask me if it means Beautiful Amanda(Bella=beautiful and then my name therefore Bellamanda) That isn’t the case. The business name has a very special meaning and it is very close to my heart. When I was choosing a name for my business I wanted to include my name in some way but there was already an Amanda Maynard(my maiden name) photography and an Amanda Elkins(married name) photography, and there was even an Amanda Gail(middle name ) photography. I wanted something unique but special and meaningful to me.

This story really starts a few years ago on April 3rd when I had something happen that changed me, devastated me, and blessed me all in a few hours. On the evening of April 3rd 2009 I just thought it would be a normal night but then I started having extreme pain in my lower abdomen and had to be rushed to the ER. I was in such extreme pain that I was literally doubled over. I had never felt anything like it. After they ran some tests I found out that I was 4 weeks pregnant. I was excited and scared too. Why was I in such extreme pain? Was it suppose to be like this? After a few more tests and praying that the baby would be ok, a doctor came in to deliver awful news. The pregnancy was ectopic. An ectopic pregnancy is a pregnancy that occurs outside of the womb (uterus).  It is a life-threatening condition to the mother and the baby cannot survive.

I had to undergo emergency surgery to remove my baby. I was devasted. I had to wait that evening and almost all night due to lack of a free surgical room but I spent that time thinking about what could have been,how my life would have changed, when my baby’s possible birthday would have been, if I would have had a girl or a boy, and silently talking to my baby. I didn’t want this to happen ..I wanted to see his/her face and know this special person that God had created.

So in memory of Isabella Kaylynn or Benjamin Alexander..I decided to make my business name special and incorporate the names somehow. I decided to use the girls name for the main business name and the boy’s name I have decided to incorporate in other ways. Therefore….. Bella(from the name Isabella) and my name Amanda =Bellamanda

I also wanted to memoralize my baby in another special way so I decided to name a star for my baby.

The bear sits on my office desk to remind me of the experience, for motivation, and the special blessing that God has given me. Anyone that has ever lost a baby they have never met, a baby they have met, or a child knows the pain that you are left with. It never fully goes away. However, I have peace knowing that the experience has blessed me with a baby that was delivered to heaven and that I will get to meet one day.

Bella or Ben

🙂